1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,317 - Hi, I'm Demi Adejuyigbe, and welcome to "MTV Cribs." 2 00:00:03,318 --> 00:00:05,501 I live in this chair, so it's gonna be a short one. 3 00:00:05,502 --> 00:00:06,919 (upbeat music) 4 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,225 - [Vic] Today, we're giving this comedian 5 00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:09,778 a total transformation. 6 00:00:09,779 --> 00:00:11,705 - I do very much feel like a slay. 7 00:00:11,706 --> 00:00:13,209 - [Vic] They have no idea who 8 00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:15,402 or what they're about to become. 9 00:00:15,403 --> 00:00:17,214 Once they see themselves in the mirror, 10 00:00:17,215 --> 00:00:19,566 they'll have to make up a character on the spot, 11 00:00:19,567 --> 00:00:22,779 and then sit down with me for an improvised interview. 12 00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:25,565 - Part of me thinks I'm one of the Founding Fathers. 13 00:00:25,566 --> 00:00:28,899 - [Vic] This is "Very Important People." 14 00:00:30,056 --> 00:00:31,106 - [Demi] Howdy. 15 00:00:31,916 --> 00:00:33,475 (Demi laughs) 16 00:00:33,476 --> 00:00:36,242 What? Who is this? (laughs) 17 00:00:36,243 --> 00:00:37,539 Oh my god. 18 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:38,558 This is fucked up. 19 00:00:38,559 --> 00:00:40,238 There's a little loop on my back, 20 00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:42,025 so I can be hoisted up into the air, 21 00:00:42,026 --> 00:00:43,209 which I imagine is something 22 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,352 that will definitely happen today. 23 00:00:44,353 --> 00:00:47,554 Venus flytrap in a weird space musical. 24 00:00:47,555 --> 00:00:50,010 Woo, "Feed me, Seymour." 25 00:00:50,011 --> 00:00:51,543 I'm Father Nature. 26 00:00:51,544 --> 00:00:53,418 It's not a family name, I married into it. 27 00:00:53,419 --> 00:00:55,284 I took her name because I'm progressive. 28 00:00:55,285 --> 00:00:59,828 I'm here to destroy Earth's plant life, your flora, 29 00:00:59,829 --> 00:01:01,207 because I'm jealous. 30 00:01:01,208 --> 00:01:02,690 And the name of my planet? 31 00:01:02,691 --> 00:01:04,134 Earth 2. 32 00:01:04,135 --> 00:01:05,491 We came up with it first! 33 00:01:05,492 --> 00:01:07,987 We didn't think about just calling it Earth. 34 00:01:07,988 --> 00:01:08,824 Fucked up. 35 00:01:08,825 --> 00:01:09,982 (crew laughing) 36 00:01:09,983 --> 00:01:10,815 Don't look at me. 37 00:01:10,816 --> 00:01:13,424 (petals rustling) (upbeat music) 38 00:01:20,421 --> 00:01:23,838 (upbeat music continues) 39 00:01:26,549 --> 00:01:29,565 - [Gregory] Hey, Vic, it's Gregory from Tareka Realty. 40 00:01:29,566 --> 00:01:31,396 A little bit of bad news. 41 00:01:31,397 --> 00:01:34,403 The homeowners rejected your offer for the house. 42 00:01:34,404 --> 00:01:35,423 I think maybe next time, 43 00:01:35,424 --> 00:01:37,415 we should offer more than just exposure, 44 00:01:37,416 --> 00:01:38,777 but we'll get 'em next time, all right? 45 00:01:38,778 --> 00:01:40,588 (phone call cuts) - [Vic] Stop. Stop. 46 00:01:42,325 --> 00:01:45,630 (sighs) We all have a story to tell, and sometimes, 47 00:01:45,631 --> 00:01:48,205 those stories need to be shared with the world. 48 00:01:48,206 --> 00:01:49,820 Good evening, I'm Vic Michaelis, 49 00:01:49,821 --> 00:01:53,638 back with another edition of "Very Important People." 50 00:01:54,050 --> 00:01:56,694 Please, introduce yourself. 51 00:01:56,695 --> 00:01:58,860 (in a squeaky high-pitched tone) - Hi, kids. It's me, Zinnia. 52 00:01:58,861 --> 00:01:59,952 (pensive music) 53 00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:03,768 You know me, 54 00:02:03,769 --> 00:02:05,861 you love me, you love my show, 55 00:02:05,862 --> 00:02:08,121 and I'm here to teach you everything 56 00:02:08,122 --> 00:02:11,310 that I teach on my own show on Vice's show as well. 57 00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:12,143 - Vice? 58 00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:12,976 (drops voice) - Is it not Vice? 59 00:02:12,977 --> 00:02:14,943 - It's Vic. Yes, kids, that's right, 60 00:02:14,944 --> 00:02:17,543 for a "Very Important People: Kids Edition," 61 00:02:17,544 --> 00:02:20,512 we have Zinnia to help us introduce all of the news. 62 00:02:20,513 --> 00:02:21,862 - Yay! The news? (sighs) 63 00:02:21,863 --> 00:02:23,449 - Well, it's more of an interview show, 64 00:02:23,450 --> 00:02:25,983 but I'm trying to sort of like pivot it into news 65 00:02:25,984 --> 00:02:27,310 a little bit. - Yeah, what better time? 66 00:02:27,311 --> 00:02:28,562 - Okay, kids, here we go. 67 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:29,395 You ready? (bright children's music) 68 00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:30,228 - The song? 69 00:02:30,229 --> 00:02:31,573 - I thought we'd do your theme song. 70 00:02:31,574 --> 00:02:32,624 - Okay. 71 00:02:33,585 --> 00:02:36,860 ? It's time, it's time, it's time, it's time ? 72 00:02:36,861 --> 00:02:39,570 ? To grow up on the video ? 73 00:02:39,571 --> 00:02:42,456 ? It's time, it's time, it's time, it's time ? 74 00:02:42,457 --> 00:02:45,663 ? Play time here with Zinnia ? 75 00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:47,654 (Vic claps) - Oh, man, that's so fun. 76 00:02:47,655 --> 00:02:49,984 And today, we have an exclusive clip from your show, 77 00:02:49,985 --> 00:02:53,513 so kids watching at home, sing along if you know the words. 78 00:02:53,514 --> 00:02:54,487 - Hi, kids! 79 00:02:54,488 --> 00:02:57,329 Today's topic, we're gonna be learning about math. 80 00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:58,880 Come with me! 81 00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:01,960 ? Seven is the seventh number of the system ? 82 00:03:01,961 --> 00:03:04,486 ? Of numbers that you got to know ? 83 00:03:04,487 --> 00:03:08,200 ? Before that, it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 ? 84 00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:10,803 ? And after that, there's a lot to go ? 85 00:03:10,804 --> 00:03:14,291 ? 'Cause you got 8 and 9, and 10 and 11 ? 86 00:03:14,292 --> 00:03:17,584 ? And 12 and 13 and 14, too ? 87 00:03:17,585 --> 00:03:20,967 ? And 15 and 16 and 17 and 18 ? 88 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,708 ? And after that, a whole lot of numbers for you ? 89 00:03:23,709 --> 00:03:27,199 ? Like 19 and 20 and 20 and 21 ? 90 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,620 ? And 22 and 23 as well ? 91 00:03:29,621 --> 00:03:32,272 - You are doing a frown on your face. 92 00:03:32,273 --> 00:03:33,745 Why are you sad, Zinnia? 93 00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:35,110 - I was told that I didn't have 94 00:03:35,111 --> 00:03:36,184 to do this the whole fucking time. 95 00:03:36,185 --> 00:03:37,917 - Okay, Zinnia, we're live feeding into three classrooms- 96 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,458 - We're live? Why? - [Vic] Across California. 97 00:03:39,459 --> 00:03:40,736 - That was a bad plan. 98 00:03:40,737 --> 00:03:41,988 - Well, you're a children's entertainer. 99 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,602 I thought it'd be nice. - I'm also a plant. 100 00:03:43,603 --> 00:03:45,162 Okay, I've re-rooted. 101 00:03:45,163 --> 00:03:46,564 I'm deep in the ground now. 102 00:03:46,565 --> 00:03:47,539 - [Vic] Okay. - Help me out. 103 00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:48,516 - [Vic] Well, let's unstick you. 104 00:03:48,517 --> 00:03:49,990 And so do we just dig you out? 105 00:03:49,991 --> 00:03:52,033 - Just pull. - Okay, so let me just. 106 00:03:52,034 --> 00:03:52,996 (roots crackle) 107 00:03:52,997 --> 00:03:54,427 Okay, oh, there we go. 108 00:03:54,428 --> 00:03:55,785 Oh, man, that's a lot of soil. 109 00:03:55,786 --> 00:03:56,685 - What? What's that mean? 110 00:03:56,686 --> 00:03:57,551 - Well, it's just kind of a fact. 111 00:03:57,552 --> 00:03:58,841 - You can't say that to a plant. 112 00:03:58,842 --> 00:04:00,521 - Hey, Zinnia, how about I give you the information 113 00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:01,775 that I was given here, huh? - Please! 114 00:04:01,776 --> 00:04:03,576 And can a plant get a fucking cigarette? 115 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,623 - What? What do you mean "Get a cigarette?" 116 00:04:04,624 --> 00:04:06,094 - I wanna smoke a cigarette. - [Vic] No! 117 00:04:06,095 --> 00:04:07,810 And what we mean by that is, 118 00:04:07,811 --> 00:04:08,968 (Vic stammering) 119 00:04:08,969 --> 00:04:11,609 ? cigarette, ret, ret retcon ? 120 00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:13,000 Retcon, take it back. 121 00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:14,599 Rewind. Whoop, where are we? 122 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,141 - Are you on drugs right now? 123 00:04:16,142 --> 00:04:17,127 Gimme that shit. 124 00:04:17,128 --> 00:04:17,960 Thank you, my man. - [Vic] No. 125 00:04:17,961 --> 00:04:20,035 And if we can just, maybe one second here, kids. 126 00:04:20,036 --> 00:04:21,063 - I don't know who's watching- - Here we go. 127 00:04:21,064 --> 00:04:22,093 - But this stuff is great. - And just come here with me. 128 00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:22,926 - [Zinnia] You gotta try this, everybody. 129 00:04:22,927 --> 00:04:24,116 - [Vic] And just one second, kids. 130 00:04:24,117 --> 00:04:25,599 - [Zinnia] What the fuck are you doing? 131 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,448 - And you wait right here. 132 00:04:26,449 --> 00:04:27,281 And you wait right here, Zinnia. 133 00:04:27,282 --> 00:04:28,114 - [Zinnia] Who are you talking to? 134 00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:29,094 - And you're gonna come with me for a second, Zinnia. 135 00:04:29,095 --> 00:04:30,799 And we'll be right back. - [Zinnia] We're doing a loop? 136 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,961 Oh this is where the sunlight is? 137 00:04:31,962 --> 00:04:32,794 - [Vic] Don't come back here. Okay. 138 00:04:32,795 --> 00:04:33,729 - [Zinnia] Oh, this feels good. 139 00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:35,195 - [Vic] You need to get it together. 140 00:04:35,196 --> 00:04:36,228 - [Zinnia] What do you mean? - [Vic] Okay? 141 00:04:36,229 --> 00:04:37,207 We are live on there 142 00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:38,930 and I got a bunch of fucking kids in there 143 00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:40,327 and I said, I'm gonna do this live programming. 144 00:04:40,328 --> 00:04:42,161 And this is actually really important to me, okay? 145 00:04:42,162 --> 00:04:43,489 - It's a lot of pressure on me. 146 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,590 Why? It's live? Why would we do that? 147 00:04:45,591 --> 00:04:46,488 - [Vic] Because, I don't know, 148 00:04:46,489 --> 00:04:48,097 you're a children's performer, that's what you do! 149 00:04:48,098 --> 00:04:49,471 I thought it would be safe to put you in front 150 00:04:49,472 --> 00:04:51,574 of a bunch of kids! Listen, I need this. Okay? 151 00:04:51,575 --> 00:04:52,407 - This is fake. This is a fake cigarette. 152 00:04:52,408 --> 00:04:54,534 - [Vic] Gonna be totally honest. We need to chill out. 153 00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:55,684 I just need you to take a deep breath, 154 00:04:55,685 --> 00:04:56,913 'cause I really need this, okay? 155 00:04:56,914 --> 00:04:58,422 - [Zinnia] Why? What's going on in your life? 156 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,566 - [Vic] I'm sort of like getting divorced 157 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,467 and it's going badly and- (Zinnia laughs) 158 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,300 No, don't laugh. - Sorry, nah. 159 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,585 - [Vic] Why are laughing? - We don't do that. 160 00:05:02,586 --> 00:05:03,756 We don't do that as plants. 161 00:05:03,757 --> 00:05:04,589 - [Vic] I need you to chill out. 162 00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:05,422 - [Zinnia] Yeah. 163 00:05:05,423 --> 00:05:06,255 - [Vic] Okay? - [Zinnia] Okay, yeah. 164 00:05:06,256 --> 00:05:07,516 - [Vic] Because I don't wanna say it, 165 00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:08,349 but you're not getting paid 166 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:09,477 unless you sort of go out there 167 00:05:09,478 --> 00:05:11,153 and you do what you're supposed to do. 168 00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:13,055 So if we can just take it easy. 169 00:05:13,056 --> 00:05:14,524 Oh, hi! 170 00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:15,431 Hello. 171 00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:17,054 And Zinnia coming on back. 172 00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:18,626 We got a really exciting segment here 173 00:05:18,627 --> 00:05:20,948 where we're gonna act out a news story 174 00:05:20,949 --> 00:05:23,366 with Zinnia's famous puppets. 175 00:05:24,913 --> 00:05:27,462 (gentle music) 176 00:05:27,463 --> 00:05:29,482 Zinnia, you picked out a news story 177 00:05:29,483 --> 00:05:31,811 for us to act out with our puppets. 178 00:05:31,812 --> 00:05:33,317 (returns to character voice) - Oh no, mom. 179 00:05:33,318 --> 00:05:37,021 I have a baby because my boyfriend and I decided 180 00:05:37,022 --> 00:05:40,189 to have unprotected photosynthesizing. 181 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,240 - And pause. 182 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:43,392 You don't do that on your show. 183 00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:44,225 (drops voice) - You said to pick a thing 184 00:05:44,226 --> 00:05:45,058 that's happening in the world. 185 00:05:45,059 --> 00:05:45,891 - No, for the kids. 186 00:05:45,892 --> 00:05:47,103 - I was thinking that this was me 187 00:05:47,104 --> 00:05:48,131 branching outta the kid world. 188 00:05:48,132 --> 00:05:49,497 And now I'm realizing that you want me 189 00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:50,469 to tone everything down again. 190 00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:52,369 - Okay, Zinnia, how can I help you? 191 00:05:52,370 --> 00:05:53,228 - This is confusing. 192 00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:54,061 Which one do I talk to? 193 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,568 - Can we cut the feed for the kids, maybe? 194 00:05:55,569 --> 00:05:57,040 We cut the feed for the kids for a second. 195 00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:58,340 - No, let them see this, let 'em see this. 196 00:05:58,341 --> 00:05:59,457 (bright children's music) Zinnia here! 197 00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:02,144 We're gonna teach you about how to actively communicate 198 00:06:02,145 --> 00:06:03,975 when you have a disagreement with someone. 199 00:06:03,976 --> 00:06:05,184 And maybe the disagreement 200 00:06:05,185 --> 00:06:06,830 is because you're from different species 201 00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:08,657 or because one of you is going through what seems 202 00:06:08,658 --> 00:06:10,478 to be a divorce of some sort. 203 00:06:10,479 --> 00:06:12,361 And maybe that's your fault and maybe it's not. 204 00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:13,518 It doesn't matter who, 205 00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:16,435 but active communication is a way to solve any problem. 206 00:06:16,436 --> 00:06:17,514 - Really good advice actually. - Right? 207 00:06:17,515 --> 00:06:18,561 - Yeah. Maybe we do that. 208 00:06:18,562 --> 00:06:19,394 - [Zinnia] Okay. 209 00:06:19,395 --> 00:06:21,002 - Zinnia, I can see that you're frustrated. 210 00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:21,919 - I am. 211 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,380 - How can I help you today? 212 00:06:23,381 --> 00:06:25,768 - Well, I just feel like I don't have any agency 213 00:06:25,769 --> 00:06:27,573 in this performance you brought me on, 214 00:06:27,574 --> 00:06:29,833 and it feels like you really wanted me as a conduit 215 00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:31,353 to explain things to children 216 00:06:31,354 --> 00:06:33,265 because you don't seem capable of it yourself. 217 00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:35,147 - Well, we sort of went through this with your agent 218 00:06:35,148 --> 00:06:36,464 over and over again, 219 00:06:36,465 --> 00:06:37,900 and your agent asked for a lot of money, 220 00:06:37,901 --> 00:06:39,565 and so most of our season's budget is going 221 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,425 to this interview. 222 00:06:41,426 --> 00:06:43,151 - That's awesome. 223 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,909 I gotta give that guy a raise. 224 00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:46,039 - And scene. 225 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,763 Wow, sensational work. 226 00:06:47,764 --> 00:06:48,789 - Oh, shit! 227 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:49,622 - [Vic] Okay. 228 00:06:49,623 --> 00:06:50,455 - [Zinnia] I'm in the roots again! 229 00:06:50,456 --> 00:06:51,554 - Do you need the soil to live? 230 00:06:51,555 --> 00:06:52,994 Can I just move some of the soil? 231 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,584 - They ain't tell you shit you about plants, huh? 232 00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:55,426 - Can I grab a shovel? 233 00:06:55,427 --> 00:06:56,441 Do we have a shovel back there maybe? 234 00:06:56,442 --> 00:06:57,274 - Whoa, what? (grumbles) 235 00:06:57,275 --> 00:06:58,191 - [Vic] Can I get a pan, a fly, and a shovel? 236 00:06:58,192 --> 00:06:59,274 - We don't gotta, no, we don't gotta, 237 00:06:59,275 --> 00:07:00,107 we don't gotta do that. 238 00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:01,262 No! No! - What do you mean? 239 00:07:01,263 --> 00:07:03,760 - No, you cut the root wrong, my leg's gonna come off. 240 00:07:03,761 --> 00:07:04,809 I might not grow properly. 241 00:07:04,810 --> 00:07:06,082 - We're not gonna cut the root wrong. 242 00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:07,801 - Oh, what you, you, you've professionally done this before? 243 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,457 - How about a rake? - Okay. A rake is great. 244 00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:10,831 - [Vic] We'll just sort of. Look at that. 245 00:07:10,832 --> 00:07:11,914 - It does hurt, but it's fine. 246 00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:14,600 (Zinnia groans) 247 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,317 Can I plant get some sunlight in here? 248 00:07:16,318 --> 00:07:18,003 - Could we fly in some sunlight? 249 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,141 I don't think that- - Oh! 250 00:07:20,142 --> 00:07:21,357 Oh, yeah! (birds chirping) 251 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,190 - [Vic] Is that better? 252 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,574 - Oh my God, that shit's great! 253 00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:24,734 Where'd you get this stuff? 254 00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,174 - I think they opened a window. 255 00:07:26,175 --> 00:07:28,022 - Oh, that shit's hitting. - It's kind of nice. 256 00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:29,341 I was able to, I was able to help you. 257 00:07:29,342 --> 00:07:30,636 - Yeah. - Look like I'm really- 258 00:07:30,637 --> 00:07:32,539 (bright children's music) 259 00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:33,946 You say it all the time on your show. 260 00:07:33,947 --> 00:07:35,291 - Oh! - It's like your catchphrase. 261 00:07:35,292 --> 00:07:36,375 It looks like I really- 262 00:07:36,376 --> 00:07:37,702 - Do I gotta do it in the voice too? 263 00:07:37,703 --> 00:07:39,119 - That's sort of your prerogative. 264 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,041 Looks like I'm really- - Growing! 265 00:07:42,042 --> 00:07:43,348 - That's just wonderful. 266 00:07:43,349 --> 00:07:44,181 We can get a PA to- 267 00:07:44,182 --> 00:07:45,987 - You seem shockingly entertained by things 268 00:07:45,988 --> 00:07:48,346 that are really appealing to only first graders. 269 00:07:48,347 --> 00:07:49,388 - I'm living in a pool house right now 270 00:07:49,389 --> 00:07:50,481 and I don't have a lot of cable 271 00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:51,882 and so I've ended up watching a lot of your show, 272 00:07:51,883 --> 00:07:53,190 and it's meant a lot to me, 273 00:07:53,191 --> 00:07:54,530 which is part of why I wanted you here today. 274 00:07:54,531 --> 00:07:56,447 - Oh wow, that's so sad. 275 00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:57,850 - And we're gonna cut the live feed. 276 00:07:57,851 --> 00:07:58,744 (live feed beeps off) We're gonna cut the live feed. 277 00:07:58,745 --> 00:07:59,577 - Thank god. 278 00:07:59,578 --> 00:08:00,410 - [Vic] Okay, what do you want? 279 00:08:00,411 --> 00:08:01,402 You came here, you didn't wanna do the Zinnia stuff. 280 00:08:01,403 --> 00:08:02,493 What do you want? 281 00:08:02,494 --> 00:08:03,906 - I guess I just want to be seen 282 00:08:03,907 --> 00:08:05,803 as more than just a children's entertainer. 283 00:08:05,804 --> 00:08:07,466 - Okay, well who do you wanna be known as? 284 00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:10,328 - Just Chris Themum. - Christhemum? 285 00:08:10,329 --> 00:08:13,542 - Well full name is Christopher Andthemum. 286 00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:14,582 - Christopher Andthemum? 287 00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:16,239 - Chrysanthemum. - Where did Zinnia come from? 288 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,072 'Cause I wasn't gonna say this, 289 00:08:17,073 --> 00:08:17,905 but you're not a- 290 00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:18,980 - I'm not a Zinnia. - [Vic] Not a Zinnia. 291 00:08:18,981 --> 00:08:19,854 - It's what people would call me 292 00:08:19,855 --> 00:08:21,452 as a child when I got bullied. 293 00:08:21,453 --> 00:08:22,285 - No. 294 00:08:22,286 --> 00:08:24,201 - When I was a bit younger I was a little more flamboyant, 295 00:08:24,202 --> 00:08:25,499 a little more red, and they were like, 296 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,504 (mocking) "Zinnia, the Zinnia's here." 297 00:08:27,505 --> 00:08:28,752 It's also where the voice came from. 298 00:08:28,753 --> 00:08:30,389 Some would say psychologically that I've sort of adopt- 299 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:33,502 (glass shatters) 300 00:08:33,503 --> 00:08:36,545 - ed the uh, antics of my bullies in order to- 301 00:08:36,546 --> 00:08:38,193 - Did you feel that? 302 00:08:38,194 --> 00:08:39,868 - Hey, can we cut? I'm bleeding real bad. 303 00:08:39,869 --> 00:08:41,449 I didn't even know I got blood like that. 304 00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:42,791 - [Vic] Sort of like aloe almost. 305 00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:44,284 Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey! 306 00:08:44,285 --> 00:08:45,329 Chris? Chris? 307 00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:47,528 Yeah, everybody, stay put, I got this. 308 00:08:47,529 --> 00:08:48,665 Don't worry about that, Chris. 309 00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:49,731 (Chris groans) Can we get some water? 310 00:08:49,732 --> 00:08:51,469 - [Chris] I need help. (water swishing) 311 00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:52,378 Ooh! Oh! 312 00:08:52,379 --> 00:08:53,570 - [Vic] Is that better? - [Chris] Whoa. 313 00:08:53,571 --> 00:08:56,680 Oh! I'm feeling like fucking Grandpa Joe 314 00:08:56,681 --> 00:08:57,866 getting a Golden Ticket. 315 00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:59,415 Jesus, what the hell? 316 00:08:59,416 --> 00:09:00,386 What's in that stuff? 317 00:09:00,387 --> 00:09:02,231 - You got chloroplast everywhere. 318 00:09:02,232 --> 00:09:03,557 - Yeah, well. 319 00:09:03,558 --> 00:09:05,424 - [Vic] Think that's probably 320 00:09:05,425 --> 00:09:08,462 (munching sounds) eating dirt. 321 00:09:08,463 --> 00:09:09,895 I thought that plants sorta of did- 322 00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,512 - You don't know a goddamn thing about plants. 323 00:09:11,513 --> 00:09:12,345 - Okay. 324 00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:14,112 - And also, let me just say, we're not all the same, huh? 325 00:09:14,113 --> 00:09:15,529 - Okay, you know what? How about this? 326 00:09:15,530 --> 00:09:16,453 Let's shake it off. 327 00:09:16,454 --> 00:09:17,905 I got some rapid fire questions for ya. 328 00:09:17,906 --> 00:09:18,738 (petals rustle) 329 00:09:18,739 --> 00:09:20,164 (gentle music) 330 00:09:21,554 --> 00:09:23,339 Okay, tell me a joke. 331 00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,423 - Shit, I don't know. 332 00:09:24,424 --> 00:09:25,491 You said the kids aren't watching, right? 333 00:09:25,492 --> 00:09:27,258 - No, they cut the feed a long time ago. 334 00:09:27,259 --> 00:09:28,912 And also the teachers are sort of speaking 335 00:09:28,913 --> 00:09:30,175 to our legal team at the moment. 336 00:09:30,176 --> 00:09:31,519 - Alright, so a lily walks into a bush 337 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,301 and it's going, "My stamen is dry as hell. 338 00:09:34,302 --> 00:09:36,652 "Can a plant get some fucking water in here?" Right? 339 00:09:36,653 --> 00:09:38,432 And then a daisy comes outta the bush 340 00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:40,414 and says, "Lily, you're back. 341 00:09:40,415 --> 00:09:41,273 "What's going on? 342 00:09:41,274 --> 00:09:42,560 "You've been gone for so long." 343 00:09:42,561 --> 00:09:44,673 And then Lily's like, "Yeah, I've been gone. 344 00:09:44,674 --> 00:09:46,975 "I've been fucking walking the desert for ages. 345 00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:48,428 "All I just want is for someone 346 00:09:48,429 --> 00:09:51,031 to get my stamen little wet," right? (chortles) 347 00:09:51,032 --> 00:09:53,619 And so they go over to the watering hole 348 00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,491 and at the watering hole the Lily's like, 349 00:09:55,492 --> 00:09:57,815 "Hold on, this is all different from how I remember it." 350 00:09:57,816 --> 00:09:59,061 - More of a story than a joke. 351 00:09:59,062 --> 00:10:00,539 - Then on and on and on and on. 352 00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:02,739 The lily and the daisy, they fuck. 353 00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:05,502 - Okay, what are you doing this weekend? 354 00:10:05,503 --> 00:10:07,067 - Um, nothing really. 355 00:10:07,068 --> 00:10:08,118 I, uh... 356 00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:13,143 I don't have a lot of social life outside of the show. 357 00:10:13,144 --> 00:10:15,914 - So you don't really have like friends or a partner? 358 00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:18,811 - (crying) I've been so alone for so fucking long! 359 00:10:18,812 --> 00:10:19,894 - [Vic] Well, hey, you're here now 360 00:10:19,895 --> 00:10:21,025 and I'm gonna ask you another question. 361 00:10:21,026 --> 00:10:22,380 What is your favorite genre? 362 00:10:22,381 --> 00:10:23,537 (Chris sobs) 363 00:10:23,538 --> 00:10:24,450 - [Vic] Oh, come on. 364 00:10:24,451 --> 00:10:25,588 Hey! - I had a wife! 365 00:10:25,589 --> 00:10:26,421 - [Vic] You did? 366 00:10:26,422 --> 00:10:27,320 Where is she now? 367 00:10:27,321 --> 00:10:29,117 - (crying) I don't remember. - You don't remember? 368 00:10:29,118 --> 00:10:31,274 - I like fantasy though. - What do you mean? 369 00:10:31,275 --> 00:10:32,854 - You asked the question, I like fantasy. 370 00:10:32,855 --> 00:10:34,426 - Oh, for your genre. (Chris sobs) 371 00:10:34,427 --> 00:10:35,449 Hey, okay, hey! 372 00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:36,891 No, you're okay. You're okay. (water bottle spritzing) 373 00:10:36,892 --> 00:10:38,133 There we go. - [Chris] Ooh! 374 00:10:38,134 --> 00:10:39,928 - There we go, okay! 375 00:10:39,929 --> 00:10:41,345 - There's no way that's just water. 376 00:10:41,346 --> 00:10:42,281 Lemme see that shit. 377 00:10:42,282 --> 00:10:43,114 - Los Angeles tap. 378 00:10:43,115 --> 00:10:44,605 - Oh, no, then it's definitely not water. 379 00:10:44,606 --> 00:10:45,498 - Oh, okay. 380 00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:46,788 - Yeah, there's like chemicals and shit in that. 381 00:10:46,789 --> 00:10:48,525 - Right, okay, last question that I ask each 382 00:10:48,526 --> 00:10:49,997 and every one of my guests. - Uh-huh. 383 00:10:49,998 --> 00:10:51,999 - What is the meaning of life? 384 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,518 - Everybody asks everybody this. 385 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:54,603 Everyone asks me this. 386 00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:55,546 Kids write in. 387 00:10:55,547 --> 00:10:57,560 The problem is, there's not one answer! 388 00:10:57,561 --> 00:10:58,924 You think the meaning of my life 389 00:10:58,925 --> 00:10:59,757 is the same as the meaning of your life? 390 00:10:59,758 --> 00:11:00,652 - That's why- - [Chris] I'm a plant! 391 00:11:00,653 --> 00:11:02,437 - That's why I ask- - [Chris] And you're a person! 392 00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:03,620 - Right. - And you know what? 393 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,936 The meaning of life shouldn't be about 394 00:11:04,937 --> 00:11:06,175 what you gotta do with life, 395 00:11:06,176 --> 00:11:07,776 It's about how you live your fucking life 396 00:11:07,777 --> 00:11:09,268 to the fullest every day. 397 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,432 It's about what you leave behind. 398 00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:12,564 Me, I leave behind 17 children. 399 00:11:12,565 --> 00:11:14,521 - 17 children? - 17 children! 400 00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:16,860 Half of which I enjoy very much. 401 00:11:16,861 --> 00:11:19,778 But the other thing is that I leave behind a legacy 402 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,244 of good children's entertainment. 403 00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:23,524 What do you leave behind, huh? 404 00:11:23,525 --> 00:11:25,259 Another public access television show 405 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:26,535 that's not gonna exist in a couple years 406 00:11:26,536 --> 00:11:27,552 because the industry is dwindling? 407 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:28,473 What'd you say? 408 00:11:28,474 --> 00:11:29,306 - It's behind a paywall. 409 00:11:29,307 --> 00:11:30,191 - It's behind a paywall? 410 00:11:30,192 --> 00:11:31,701 - It was $6 a month and now it's $7 a month. 411 00:11:31,702 --> 00:11:34,228 - That's not sustainable! 412 00:11:34,229 --> 00:11:35,200 I'm sick of it! 413 00:11:35,201 --> 00:11:37,110 There's no one good meaning to life! 414 00:11:37,111 --> 00:11:37,943 - Hey, hey, okay. 415 00:11:37,944 --> 00:11:39,484 - There's no one good meaning to life! 416 00:11:39,485 --> 00:11:42,172 There are several ways to live your life! 417 00:11:42,173 --> 00:11:44,840 (vase shatters) 418 00:11:44,841 --> 00:11:47,124 I didn't think that was gonna break, I'm gonna be real. 419 00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,289 - Okay, so you know what I'm gonna do? 420 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,350 I'm gonna walk a mile in your roots. 421 00:11:50,351 --> 00:11:51,523 - I don't walk, I stand. 422 00:11:51,524 --> 00:11:52,981 - Let's get a PA to fly in the soil. 423 00:11:52,982 --> 00:11:54,198 - Oh, y'all got more of that soil. 424 00:11:54,199 --> 00:11:55,031 - Here we go. 425 00:11:55,032 --> 00:11:55,973 - Y'all been holding back on me. 426 00:11:55,974 --> 00:11:58,081 - I'm gonna extend the olive branch to you. 427 00:11:58,082 --> 00:11:59,974 - Sorry, what does that mean to you guys? 428 00:11:59,975 --> 00:12:01,088 'Cause extending the olive branch 429 00:12:01,089 --> 00:12:03,149 is a different thing for me. 430 00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:04,924 - What does it mean? - It's sexual. 431 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,408 - Okay. - The olive branch is a penis. 432 00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:07,609 - [Vic] And it's not that. 433 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:08,980 For this, what we are doing is I, 434 00:12:08,981 --> 00:12:11,391 I'm just really gonna learn what it's like 435 00:12:11,392 --> 00:12:12,393 from your experience. 436 00:12:12,394 --> 00:12:13,590 - That's a very sweet idea, thank you. 437 00:12:13,591 --> 00:12:14,434 - I'm coming to you. 438 00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:15,308 I know you said you got bullied. 439 00:12:15,309 --> 00:12:16,449 I got bullied too. - For what? 440 00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:19,513 - Sort of, you know, I was, I was too popular, 441 00:12:19,514 --> 00:12:22,322 and too beautiful, and people were really upset by that. 442 00:12:22,323 --> 00:12:23,491 - Mm, I don't know. 443 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,804 The tone of your voice says it's something different 444 00:12:24,805 --> 00:12:25,637 We'll figure it out. 445 00:12:25,638 --> 00:12:26,834 - Okay, can we get the water in here? 446 00:12:26,835 --> 00:12:27,968 - Yes! - [Vic] And there we go. 447 00:12:27,969 --> 00:12:29,153 And so here's what we're gonna do. 448 00:12:29,154 --> 00:12:30,987 I'm gonna go ahead and take these off. Thank you. 449 00:12:30,988 --> 00:12:33,290 - Oh, that's how you make the $7 a month, isn't it? 450 00:12:33,291 --> 00:12:34,535 - [Vic] And they're gonna censor that immediately. 451 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,368 - [Chris] Mm-hmm. 452 00:12:35,369 --> 00:12:36,727 - How do you get into the soil or no? 453 00:12:36,728 --> 00:12:37,618 I wanna do it like you. 454 00:12:37,619 --> 00:12:38,584 (Chris thumps) Great. 455 00:12:38,585 --> 00:12:39,417 - Mario style. 456 00:12:39,418 --> 00:12:41,085 - Okay, so I'm, and, 457 00:12:41,304 --> 00:12:43,335 I got this. 458 00:12:43,336 --> 00:12:45,307 And don't help me. 459 00:12:45,308 --> 00:12:46,891 No need to help me. 460 00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:49,692 I got it. 461 00:12:49,693 --> 00:12:51,025 - You can sit down, they don't want your help. 462 00:12:51,026 --> 00:12:52,514 - Don't make me say no one more time. 463 00:12:52,515 --> 00:12:53,412 Back off! 464 00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:54,252 - This is embarrassing. 465 00:12:54,253 --> 00:12:55,587 You should get them outta there. 466 00:12:55,588 --> 00:12:57,265 - Here we go. Ready? 467 00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:58,316 Hoo! 468 00:12:59,441 --> 00:13:01,423 Mario style. 469 00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:03,050 - No, Mario does it alone, but that's fine. 470 00:13:03,051 --> 00:13:04,366 - Right now sort of what I'm feeling 471 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,787 is I'm just sort of standing in dirt. 472 00:13:05,788 --> 00:13:07,059 - Yeah. 473 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:07,973 What more could you want? 474 00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:08,923 - Maybe a little more water. 475 00:13:08,924 --> 00:13:10,702 Maybe you gimme a little more water. 476 00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:11,798 Maybe that's a problem. 477 00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:13,253 - [Chris] At this point I would've overdosed. 478 00:13:13,254 --> 00:13:14,458 - On water? - [Chris] Yeah! 479 00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:16,244 This shit's dangerous. Are you kidding me? 480 00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:18,138 - I'm just like, is this what you're feeling in here? 481 00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:20,007 Like I feel like I'm not like feeling anything new. 482 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,638 I'm not feeling any joy and I'm thinking about like, 483 00:13:22,639 --> 00:13:24,244 why am I performing for all of these people 484 00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:26,124 if nobody's performing for me, you know? 485 00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:28,371 - Do you feel like the life that you've created 486 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:31,128 has been misled by an idea of what you believed 487 00:13:31,129 --> 00:13:32,577 you would be enjoying? 488 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:33,839 And now that you're in the dirt, 489 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,554 you feel a little like maybe there's a different direction 490 00:13:35,555 --> 00:13:36,764 you could have taken with your life 491 00:13:36,765 --> 00:13:39,752 and you've been wasting a lot of time? 492 00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:41,321 'Cause if so, let me tell you, kid, 493 00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:43,924 that's what I feel every goddamn minute of my life. 494 00:13:43,925 --> 00:13:44,757 - Okay, yeah, well, 495 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,575 I feel like I'm just like not feeling anything right now, 496 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,600 you know what I'm saying? 497 00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:48,802 Like maybe like more water. 498 00:13:48,803 --> 00:13:49,635 Like, let's get that. 499 00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:50,511 Let's get that sun back on. 500 00:13:50,512 --> 00:13:52,254 - You wanna go from microdose to macrodose? 501 00:13:52,255 --> 00:13:53,531 Let's do this. - [Vic] Let's do this! 502 00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:55,002 - But I want you to be prepared 503 00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:56,417 'cause you're about to meet God. 504 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,292 - There we go, yeah. 505 00:13:57,293 --> 00:13:59,586 Come on, more! More! 506 00:13:59,587 --> 00:14:01,450 I feel like I'm not feeling anything, you know? 507 00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:02,916 Feeling like empty inside. 508 00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:03,982 - [Chris] You feel empty inside? 509 00:14:03,983 --> 00:14:05,080 Or you feel like maybe there are thoughts 510 00:14:05,081 --> 00:14:06,538 that you should just be expressing 511 00:14:06,539 --> 00:14:09,202 in order to make yourself feel like you got something in ya? 512 00:14:09,203 --> 00:14:10,535 - Stop yelling at me! - Why? 513 00:14:10,536 --> 00:14:12,146 - You think you're special 'cause you're sad and horny? 514 00:14:12,147 --> 00:14:13,292 We're all sad and horny! 515 00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:15,266 - [Chris] Maybe my sad and horny is the - [Offscreen voice] We're still live. 516 00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:16,205 kind of sad and horny that people should be. 517 00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:17,038 - We're on. 518 00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:17,871 - 'Cause I'm accepting my sad and horniness. 519 00:14:17,872 --> 00:14:19,223 - We're on TV and it's still live. 520 00:14:19,224 --> 00:14:20,102 - What? 521 00:14:20,103 --> 00:14:20,935 - It's still live. 522 00:14:20,936 --> 00:14:22,047 - Oh, is that what that red light is? 523 00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:24,996 - There's 30 homeschoolers still watching us. 524 00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:27,054 (bright children's music) 525 00:14:27,055 --> 00:14:28,912 - (character voice) The the play is over now. - Now. 526 00:14:28,913 --> 00:14:30,831 - Everything we said was a joke. 527 00:14:30,832 --> 00:14:31,811 - It's a joke. 528 00:14:31,812 --> 00:14:33,237 - We're not sad or horny. - Nope. 529 00:14:33,238 --> 00:14:35,337 - We're happy and regulated. 530 00:14:35,338 --> 00:14:36,517 - Regulated. - Medically. 531 00:14:36,518 --> 00:14:38,552 - I'm Vic Michaelis reminding you to be true yourself. 532 00:14:38,553 --> 00:14:40,097 Unless you'd rather be somebody else. Goodnight. 533 00:14:40,098 --> 00:14:41,487 ? I'm Zinnia ? 534 00:14:41,488 --> 00:14:42,821 ? I'm Zinnia ? 535 00:14:42,822 --> 00:14:45,289 ? Don't remember the things that I said ? 536 00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,471 ? I'm Zinnia, I'm Zinnia ? 537 00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,555 ? Tell your parents you went to bed ? 538 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,836 ? Don't tell them you saw this program ? 539 00:14:51,837 --> 00:14:54,052 ? Don't repeat anything you saw ? 540 00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:56,229 ? I'm Zinnia, I'm Zinnia ? 541 00:14:56,230 --> 00:15:01,230 ? Let's grow together, Let's go to the mall ? 542 00:15:02,197 --> 00:15:03,337 - Hey, kids, 543 00:15:03,338 --> 00:15:06,669 Today I wanna talk about the skill of apologizing. 544 00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:09,345 Now you might have seen some stuff on a TV show 545 00:15:09,346 --> 00:15:10,574 I was on recently. 546 00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:12,516 And even though no one really watches the TV show 547 00:15:12,517 --> 00:15:14,661 and I'm told it's one of the lowest performing shows 548 00:15:14,662 --> 00:15:17,490 that's ever been on streaming television, 549 00:15:17,491 --> 00:15:20,402 I still wanna address my, my actions, 550 00:15:20,403 --> 00:15:24,177 and I'd like to address my actions in a song. 551 00:15:24,178 --> 00:15:25,010 Hit it. (bright music) 552 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:28,080 ? You shouldn't say fuck on TV ? 553 00:15:28,081 --> 00:15:30,765 ? You also shouldn't say shit or piss ? 554 00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:33,547 ? You shouldn't say damn or hell or cum ? 555 00:15:33,548 --> 00:15:35,438 ? Or even some words like ? 556 00:15:35,439 --> 00:15:37,006 ? jizz ? (jizz splats) 557 00:15:37,056 --> 00:15:41,606 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0